A Fate I Thought I Deserved


I saw her face posted on the news.

So many people said, “thought it was you”.

I looked in those eyes and saw her fate.

It was me — Same height, same weight.

Her presence weaves in and out memories

Across the hall, her curls bounce as she turns away from me.

She passes by to celebrate another year of my life,

A glimpse of a forever-youthful smile.

Same age, same classes, same fatal attractions.

Parallel paths with slight over lapses.

I could not sleep — why her and not me

What was the difference between her fate and my destiny?

I had life — so selfishly.

All the times I sought death.

Thinking my like was worthless

brought carelessness.

Dangling myself like bait because of other men’s problems, violence, and rape.

Because I felt damaged — waiting for a chance to escape.

Victimized but left alive . Why?

That summer seemed…

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